Growing Up (Kash) and Growing Old (Brad & Amber) in 2011

It wasn't so much that 2011 passed by quickly as much as it was the memories have passed out of our minds. Looking back, it was all about Kash, Kash, Kash. I'll do my best to highlight a little of him and a little bit of this and that.

In the beginning of 2011, Brad and I celebrated our 4th anniversary and I started on a new career venture in HR. I began prep classes to take the PHR (Professional Human Resources) exam. It's a very difficult exam and very time consuming. Brad spent lots of time with Kash and yet we still managed a little family time instroducing Kash to the aquarium, swimming and very importantly, sushi. In the meantime, I achieved another Human Resources Management Certifcate through the University of Utah.

Spring of 2011 brought some ups and downs. Brad's 36th birthday, Kash's first Easter, the engagement of my little sister and my first real Mother's Day. I passed the PHR exam and found myself making a difficult decision. Should I take a job offer in HR or should I take advantage of the offer to reduce my hours and be home more with Kash? After missing my baby during all those months of studying, he won out and it turned out to be the best thing. (Those were the up's, in case it wasn't clear).
The Spring also brough some sad things, Kash's only cousins on the Storer side moved to Dallas. And the hardest part of all was that Kash was hospitalized for 5 days with MRSA. We were scared and grateful that he had such good care and came through it like he did.

The summer had its fair share of ups and downs too. Reflecting back on 1 year ago brings many feelings to the surface. At the time, we were anxiously going through the adoption process. It was a difficult time of uncertainty and cautious hope. The best thing we ever struggled through. The rest of the 2011 summer flashed by. Brad celebrated his first real Father's Day and we were able to continue the tradition of going to Idaho Falls for the 4th of July. Very importantly, Kash turned 1. Again, a time to remember and be grateful for how our lives have changed.

I decided to start the Fall with a bang and was hospitialzed myself with MRSA. It was just as crumby from the patient side. Just when I thought I had recovered, another infection ran through my sinuses and I underwent surgery. Things finally turned around and during that time, we still managed to visit my brother and good friends in Seattle--Kash's first expereince with an airplane. We introduced Kash, a second time, to Halloween and he seemed to catch on to the candy portion- the most important part.

Finally, winter of this year brings cold weather and warm times. I turned 35 years old with mixed feelings (as though I had a choice in aging). Happy to have the life that I do and sad to admit that I'm a real grown-up. So, I took Kash and high-tailed it off to Dallas to see my other brother, sis-in-law and nephews. We have started to celebrate the Christmas season and finally put our tree up, wondering how long it will take Kash to pull it down. As the end of the year draws close, we do consider ourselves lucky and realize how happy we are.

December 2010

Backing up to December of 2010, we had a very special event: the finialization of Kash's adoption. We were able to finalize a whole month early and I tear up a bit remembering it. It was a beautiful day, celebrated with family and loved ones.

Rockin' it

Um, P.S. who does his hair? Or rather, doesn't do his hair. Nice mom. Real nice.

Another first

His first sushi experience. He tasted some eel sauce (it's just teriyaki essentially), some spicy mayo (which isn't spicy at all), some soy sauce ...annnnnnnnnnnd the table.

Just not for Mom

Seems like everyone can get the little bugger to laugh, everyone except Mom. So, instead I record videos of him and sit in a corner, crying with a box of tissues, knowing my son will never think I'm funny. OK, not really. I realize that my dry, and slightly sarcastic sense of humor is lost on the baby. Poor little sucker has no idea what he's missing!

The best wifey in the world

In an effort to diverge from the "mommy posts" I am posting an oldie.

Last Christmas (2010), I pulled off the, THE, biggest surprise ever.

Here's the story so you can truly appreciate. July 2010, we went to Idaho Falls for the 4th of July. My husband saw this classic car, in really good shape and fell in love. He was so enamoured but scared he couldn't afford it. It was THE perfect car to restore, which has always been something he dreamed about doing. No rust, original parts, still runs, has had a few modifications but nothing damaging and really rare. They only made this particular body style one year. It's a 1950 Buick Specialette. Every year thereafter, modifications were made. Brad didn't even dare call on the car.

He was afraid to even know how much they were asking. My sister's boyfriend made the call. He was asking about $11K. Not bad considering that once overhauled, you could get possibly $38K for it. Anyway, we drive home, with Brad talking about it the whole way. Literally, we get home, park the car and he goes inside, sans luggage, and hops on the Internet to do some research. (He'll deny that part but it's true and makes for a better story.)

He talks about this car for weeks and weeks. Goes out and buy classic car magazines just to dream about it. I swear, I have never seen him this excited about anything. Around the end of August I realize what I have to do. I am an excellent wifey after all.

I plot with my father to purchase the car and somehow keep it hidden until Christmas. Thank you Daddy!!! He handled all the tough stuff, negotiated an amazing price and even helped me figure out how to pay for it. Think this out, Brad might notice if $7500 suddenly went missing from our savings. It would be my luck that if I took out a loan, somehow we would purchase something in the meantime and my credit would be pulled, showing an open car loan. (Which, actually happened. Side: Brad was fed up with his truck and actually said several times that if he could get rid of his truck, he would day-dreaming about this car. Well, on November 26th, he found the perfect car and was geared up to buy it. Yikes! That put me in quite the spot. Do I tell him about his car Christmas present so he can make a better decision about whether to get a new vehicle? Do I just act mean and dissuade him from getting a new car? I tried to convince him to wait until after we got our tax return back but he really did find the perfect car at an amazing price. I kept the secret and just swallowed and prayed no major financial catastrophe happened.)

In the meantime, I was such a brat. I egged him on. Asking if he still wanted that car or if there was another one he liked better and I even tried so hard to get him to call back on it. Hee hee. I just wanted to see his face when the guy told him it was sold! He never took the bait.

Christmas finally comes. Christmas eve, my dad and I go to his parking garage to get the car and it won't start. It has to start. My whole family didn't keep the secret for 6 months only to have it ruined! I have the audacity to call the guy who sold it to us and see if he'll come take a look at it. He did and got it running. We parked it in my parents garage for Christmas morning:





He was actually in shock. I don't think he said anything intelligible for 5 minutes. It was the best surprise ever!

Swimming..or at least in the pool

Here is comes... the mommy posts. Yup, you get to see what my kid does every waking minute. The difference for me, as a parent, is that I realize it's kinda lame for everyone else! And, yeah, I accept that and don't care! :)

I have grown up swimming and want Kash to enjoy it too or at the very least, be confident he won't drown. My cute friend Bethany invited me to go with her and Ari, her 9 month old.
How did she even think to do it this soon? For some odd reason, I have it in my mind that infants only eat, drink and poop. My poor kid wouldn't get to do anything until he was a toddler. Thank goodness for friends who actually treat him like a little person. May I just comment that my kid is the size of her little girl---3 1/2 months older than Kash. He's not fat...just fluffy, well..perhaps chunky, well... perhaps thick,well..perhaps big-boned, ok, perhaps he's a little fatty! So damn cute.

Moving along, Kash did really well. He was patient with me as I tried really, really hard not to get my hair wet (did not work with a splashing infant).He didn't really know what to do at first, so my great idea was to dunk him. I am the greatest mom ever. Really, just ask me.
His response, once I brought him to the surface was to blink his eyes and look a little confused. Not a single cry, not once during each of the 15 times I dunked him. Like I said, "getting him used to the water"....and funny for me. He quickly got to the point where he was flailing his arms and loving the water splashed in his eyes, mouth, nose, ears and mine too. Oh, yeah and we got kicked out of the hot tub.....wait, wait, wait. We didn't have the babies in the hot tub. But just sitting on the edge above it, but the life guard did not go for it. Probably not the best thought-out plan, now that I think of it. Again, greatest mom, ever.

Part II

I don't know how much detail to go into, so bear with me. There really is so much to this story. If you want the punchline and then here you go:
we were able to witness the birth of our son; I was able to be the first one to hold him and give him a bath. Brad gave him his first bottle and changed his first diaper. The bio mother signed over her parental rights exactly 26 hours after the birth. The final adoption papers were signed on Dec. 16th. There! Now keep reading if you want the mushy parts.

So, just some fun newborn photos:

A real mom learns how to do 80-zillion things at once, ie build furniture while never setting your baby down.












A few more things about our story. This is the part where you can stop reading if you are a skeptic. I don't mean that as an insult, you'd just find this part hard to believe.

I've mentioned that we were there at all the ultrasounds and Dr. appointments and best of all, were there at his birth. What an amazing experience and to be able to tell Kash we were there from the beginning. Looking back, I can see that he was always our baby. He was always meant for us. Poor kid.

But what I haven't yet said are the really tender parts. The next morning after Kash was born, the bio mother started texting me, asking if he was healthy and what did he look like, etc. (Keep in mind that she couldn't sign over her parental rights for another 12 hours, and that was if, IF everything went perfectly. She could still change her mind and keep the baby). The poor girl was all alone in the maternity ward, surrounded by mothers and babies and happy families. She had no baby and no family around to comfort her. No one and she had just made the hardest choice of her life. Again, looking back, I admire her strength and courage.

Brad went to go sit with her and keep her company while I was with Kash. Then we traded and I went to sit with her for a bit. I know it sounds kind of strange but we had that kind of relationship. It was almost a friendship--but one we had to still keep at arms length. We had all agreed that Kash and the bio mother would have no contact afterwards.

So, I am sitting with her and she asks me, "How does it feel to be a mommy?". I start crying and tell her I'm afraid she will still change her mind. (We had a very straight-forward relationship). Try to picture this: She turns to me and in her blunt, no-nonsense voice tells me, "Amber! Stop it! He is your baby! As soon as I met you, I knew you were his parents. I was just carrying him for you." Honest to God, those really were her words. It still gives me the tingles, but there's more.

She checks out of the hospital with a "count-down" of 5 hours before she can sign. We were so worried at this point because Kash couldn't leave until the next day and the court advocate would have to track her down to have her sign. For the next 5 hours, she would text me every half hour and ask when the advocate was coming. She said she was ready to have closure. Finally, it was the time for the advocate's appointment. The plan was for him to go to her house, get her signature and then call us to meet him and have us sign. 26 hours after our son was born, she signed the paperwork. TWENTY SIX hours. That is unheard of.

And the very best part. Before the advocate could even leave her apartment complex, I get a text from her. "It is all done. Congratulations new mommy and daddy!". And then, and then I grabbed Kash into my arms and the sweet little boy opened his eyes for the first time that day and just stared at me for a half hour. Truly, truly. All the people in the room would say the same thing. Everyone was in tears, especially me.

And the last part. Again, some background: In the state of Utah, although the birth parents can sign their rights away 24 hours after the birth, the courts will not allow the parents to finalize the adoption until 6 months after the birth. For various reasons, we needed this to take place before the end of the year and not wait until Jan 13th. So you have to go through this whole process and petition the judge and write up this reasoning, etc. We go through this and not only is our motion granted, we were able to adopt him at 5 months old. Again, unheard of.

And so, I say again, he was meant to be part of our family. He was always our baby.