April showers bring May flowers......bring June snow?!?

Next week is June. Seriously? Did it really snow yesterday?

I love Mary Burbank

READ PREVIOUS POST (BELOW) FROM TODAY FIRST.......

Mary is one of our faculty members and she just made my day. Totally un-provoked and having never seen my blog, she asked me if I was losing weight. Yes, just a few minutes ago. Isn't she a dear?

AND! I told her about that horrendous person this morning and she came up with a "come-back". Here is it:

Meanie: "Are you pregnant"
You: "No, but how far along are you?" And at this point, reach over and rub her belly!!!!!

Ha! Ha! Best come-back for the pregnant line, ever!!!!!! I rarely get this line from a man but I think I would do the same thing. Just to show that his big 'ol gut looks like a baby-belly too.

WARNING: Explicatives

Dear bitch, fucking stupid bitch, for that matter,

No, I am indeed not pregnant--thank you very much for asking; I apparently just have a very large gut. You, however, should have been pushed down the stairs by my large belly, kung-foo-panda style. Trust me, she was no more fit than myself and it would have been a good match, gut to gut.

And now for my tirade, this is a question that you should never, ever, under no circumstances, no exceptions, by no means, ask. I don't give a shit if you are in the delivery room and the woman is in labor. Never ever. Besides being a major fat insult, how do you know if that poor woman has been trying to have a baby for years and happens to look like she is pregnant because she is injecting hundred of hormones? How do you know that if tragically the almost-mother just miscarried. Never ever. It's not your fucking concern and you are a horrible, ignorant person for just blurting out your thoughts. I would much rather hear, "gee, you've put on a few pounds lately".

I've had this conversation with several women and none of us have been able to come up with a witty, back-handed insulting response. "No, I'm not pregnant. I guess I'm just fat" is not a good one. It does not make the poor fatty feel better. ( I use the word "fatty" in jest. I'm trying to inject some humor, not additional insults.) A response of "You are a bitch" doesn't help either. It needs to convey how remarkably stupid and insulting the comment was in the first place. Anyone?

And P.S., I do acknowledge that I have gained some weight after getting married. I have a rule, when I say "fat", I must add "and happy". So, yes I am fat...and happy.

Something to ponder as you wait for your bus

Yes, I saw this in good 'ol Midvale, UT (7200 south & 900 east)