I'm baaaaaaack!

It's been a few months- oh, like 6ish. But I have good reason to have been negligent. We've had a baby!!!! A baby boy, born on July 13th and adopted on the 14th. The story is truly amazing and I'll do my best to capture it. And know that I will be crying the whole time. I dare say it's miraculous.

After 2 years of deseparately wanting to start a family (this part is still really raw, so forgive me if I gloss over it a bit), Brad and I talked about adoption. We had tried fertility whatnot and I finally said enough! Enough with the hormones that were literally making me a freakin nut-job. I can't lie, it was taking a toll on the marriage. It's hard to live with a complete hormonal lunatic, and just as hard being one. So, I folded, at least for a little bit. One of the hardest decisions Brad and I have ever made. I was beyond angry and bitter, hopeless and distraught and mad. Boy, was I mad. At life, at my body, at God, at the Universe, at Brad and generally anyone who had children. I can't say I was at rock-bottom because I sincerely believed that there was no bottom. Yeah, pretty much the blackest period of my life. Yup, still raw. So, moving on.

Somehow, I had the wherewithall to know that I have always wanted a family. Never once did I dream about being pregnant. It was always "having a family". In my heart, I explored my feelings about adoption. I started to look on the internet and realized it was perhaps (unbelieveably so) harder than fertility treatments, at least emotional and financially. The process alone for being eligble for adoption was more than tedious and invasive. Imagine your whole life, marriage and history put up for inspection and scrutiny. And the possible wait time! Average 3-5 years.